Widower
by ClampLover
Summary: LanMaylu...You didn't marry me, but I'm one of the few still mourning. Irony huh? ChaudYai...I find I'm incapable of having joyous memories anymore, and you're to blame. PrideRaika...we never did get our fairy tale ending, did we darling?
1. Maylu

Hi everyone. I hope you love this fic like you love my other one. This is the first time I ever had two longer than one-shot fics and I hope that writing for two fics doesn't slow me down. Remember to review.

normal type-normal conversation

_slanted type-Maylu's thoughts_

_I don't own Megaman. Capcom does. _

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A young woman visits a grave to assure a lost love that while his widower might have moved on, she didn't.

''Morning Sal. Two dozen white roses please.'' A red headed girl told her friend.

''Morning Maylu. I'll get them right away.''

Sal returned, roses in hand.

''How much Sal?'' Maylu asked .

''On the house. And Maylu,'' Sal looked sad while saying this,'' tell Lan I miss him too.''

''You got it, Sal. Goodbye.''

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_Five yeas ago_

''I wasn't the one he truly loved.'' A woman told another while over a gravestone.

''Excuse me?'' Maylu asked getting up to face the other woman.

''Lan loved me. He loved me and was always faithful, but I think he thought about how his life would be like if he had you for a wife.''

''He didn't love me.'' Maylu said a she walked away.

''Are you really sure about that Maylu? Jasmine asked, making the red-head halt.

''Yes.''

''You're wrong. Lan has always cared about you. I am bold enough to say he loved you too.''

''I'm not wrong. If he loved me so much, why didn't he keep in contact with me, why did he forget about me, why did Lan marry you?''

''He gave up hope. Look, I was his wife. Don't you think you could accept what I am trying to tell you. It's hurting me more that it's hurting you. Lan loved you. He always had and he always will.''

''...Goodbye Jasmine. Tell everyone I said hi.

''Why don't you tell them yourself?''

''It's been five years since I stepped foot in this town. I learned about Lan's death through a casual acquaintance. It's the only reason I came. I didn't come back for a sappy reuinion.

_Back to the present time_

_I was a foolish little girl then. Thinking that I would be able to leave. Maybe moving in with the widower of Chaud wasn't such a bad idea though. And I do enjoy talking to the widowed Princess of Creamland. Well here's my stop._

Lan Hikari

Beloved friend, son, husband, and Net-op. A great man who

didn't deserve to die. May you rest in peace Lan.

_'Rest in peace? You were killed by a loose bullet. Hardly something you can rest in peace about,'_ I muttered while I sat down and placed all the roses except two on the grave.

''Hi Lan. How you been doing?'' _'Yeah Maylu. He's leading a wonderful life. His wife is about to get remarried, his childhood best friend is crushed over his death, and oh yeah-HE'S DEAD!_

''A lot of things have changed. Jasmine is getting remarried to Dex, Megaman is in love with Roll and staying at my house instead of with Medi, and I'm becoming a successful lawyer. Your death helped my choose my job. I'll give you three guesses why.''_ 'I know, I know. You became a lawyer so you could throw those bastards with guns in jail.'_

''People have said that absence makes the heart grow fonder.What a bunch of crap I miss you the same amount as I did five years ago. I do miss you. I guess you might not think so, you know with me only visiting you once a year and all. but I do. And I still love you too.

Love.

It's funny. I love you and I've been told that you loved me. Even Jasmine told me that you were happiest when you were with me.

Yet we were both cowards. We didn't tell each other of our feelings. We were to afraid of rejection. Right now I would gladly be rejected by you over and over again if you just came back to us.

We were cowards and we paid the ultimate price. You were killed on a net-savior mission and so was my heart.

I blame myself for your death. If I had told you that I loved you, maybe I would have gone on that net-savior mission. Maybe I would be the one five feet under instead of you. Yes, I would much rather be dead instead of you. Then again, you would be sad and in my position. I don't want you to go through that pain.

You know what? I have thought of killing myself. But then I would see how dissapointed you were that I took my own life and I stopped. Maybe I would be dead if I thought of you being happy to see me. I saw you angry and that is what kept me on earth.

I love you. Why did you have to be such a dense asshole and get yourself killed. Why did you do that to me. Why did you die? Why Lan. Why did you leave my here to cry, too far away to have you comfort me. Why? It isn't fair.

Life isn't fair. I've learned that the hard way. I'm in pain every day. Are you in pain too?

I know you have Raika and Chaud up there watching you like hawks, but I can't help but worry. Strange. Your dead but I'm worried. MAybe you aren't even anything anymore. Maybe there is nothing after dying. Maybe your screaming in frustration that you will be alive forever and ever trapped in a horrible existants to see all that you love change.

Maybe. I'm starting to hate that word.

I know that this may be selfish, but I've always been jealous of any girl showing affection towards you. Jasmine, Princess Pride, anyone. I didn't show it that much, did I? _Yes you did. You quit doing that after Jasmine told Lan she loved him. You gave up right there and then. Man, I figured I would be a better concious. _

Anyway, I bet you want to find out how Roll and Megaman are doing. You dying spurred Roll to admit her feelings to Megaman. He happily retuned those feelings. They have their fairy tale ending. I lost mine and instead I am caught in a strange world, in a world that allows me to mourn every day.

They do still miss you. And they usually come to the grave sight.

I know that you were married and your wife should be the one here ready to ask you questions, but I always have liked breaking the dumb rules. And I know for a FACT that you loved doing that too.

I have a few questions that have been hauting me for a long, long time. Did you love me? Did you care about me at all, even a little? Did you wonder where I was when I wasn't with you? I guess waiting for an answer would be pretty stupid.'' I finished saying as I got up.'' Jasmine might have moved on, but I haven't. I do love you.''

''Raika, Chaud, your wives miss you too.'' I said while placing the two roses on the graves surrounding Lan's.

I turned ready to walk away. '' Goodbye Lan.'' And then I was gone.

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''Maylu, I do love you.'' A white figure invisable to the human eye said sadly. ''And I will wait for you.''

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There I'm done. I might make more chapters for Pride and Yai, it still depends. And everyone please review. I wonder if any of my old reviewers will read this fic. Remember, I hate no flames. I know it sucks. I completed this in less that two hours.

Review please.


	2. Yai

Finally, Widower 2 is up. God, how long had it been since you all read the first chapter huh? And 9 reviews for the first chapter? Thank you all so much.

This chapter is dedicated to Charlow, I hope you feel better.

Disclaimer:

CL: I don't own Megaman.

Lan: She doesn't even own any MM books, toys, or DVDS too.

CL: That isn't true, I own a DVD and I have loads of tapes, now go away, I killed you off. This chapter is for Chaud.

Chaud: You heard her. _Drags Lan back to the grave_

Raika: On with the fic.

CL: I don't take orders from you.

Raika: Do it. _Throws CL a glare_

CL: You heard the man, let's move, move, move. _CL says nervously._

Lan: Wait, don't you still have to thank someone?

CL: Oh yeah, I'd like to thank my good pal Ohohen for reading a part of this fic and giving me feedback for it.

* * *

Living the rich life doesn't always make for a good picture. This is the story of Yai Ayano and Chaud Blaze, a love filled with wealth, happiness, and grief.

* * *

"Bitter sweet memories aren't fleeting. They stay in your mind, leaving for just a moment so you can remember a time where you didn't have to put up a facade every day. If not for these precious seconds, I believe that we'd be driven to insanity. 

Ever since we buried you, those sweeter memories never surface. A friend of mine once told me I'm repressing them, because most of those memories involve you.

Your death changed me, I'm not the same peson you feel in love with. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and can't recognize myself. I wonder if you'd still love me like this. Maybe, but I'm not sure. I don't even have Protoman to ask because he was deleted on the netsavior mission. You saved so many, and gave up your own life.

Sometimes, I wonder why I do this to myself. I guess it was because I was safe with you, and now I'm in a world where I can truly experience pain.

My life has become an old story. A visit to the grave on the third Sunday of the month.

I'm Yai Blaze, widowed at 29, married for 6 years, and I lost my husband 3 years ago. I'm now 32 with two children, named Shiori and Myra. They are five years old twins with blue eyes and blonde hair.. I usually stare at your grave helplessly, before sobbing."

Today was different. Yai didn't sit down in front of the grave, she stood. Instead of a black dress, a pair of black jeans and a blue sweater was worn. She still stared helplessly at the grave, but she wasn't crying- yet. She wasn't smiling, but the mask she famously wore had been left at home. Her forehead, which had shrunk down to the normal size for a young woman like her, wasn't giving off a glare. The sun wasn't shining, in fact, it was raining. The clouds were in mourning too.

The rain prevented a clear view of the grave, but the words had been memorized in her head. Yai remembered how Maylu, a few of Chaud's friends like Raoul, other friendly rivals, and herself had come up with the gravestone. She came up with the air of arrogance part. Her father in law had passed away before the two were engaged, leaving Chaud the house and the company.

**Chaud Blaze**

A man that carried himself with compassion, an unrivaled strength, and an air of arrogance.

A son that never left anything unfinished, an ace battler that never gave up, a loving father and husband who wouldn't hesitate to die for his loved ones

A legend that can never be tainted

He shall be missed until the end of time

"Do you remember how you asked me to marry you?" Yai asked the grave in front of her. Even though it didn't respond, she continued. "I hadn't expected it. I had been hinting around it for a while, but I figured you'd been spending too much time with Lan and part of his denseness had rubbed off on you. Boy I was surprised, more at how you proposed then the fact that you actually did.

_**Flashback-10 years ago-**_

"I hate my life." Yai Ayano said unhappily to her boyfriend, Chaud Blaze, as she walked into the living room. Yai was staying at Chaud's for the week while her house was getting an addition added to it.

"Why's that?" Chaud asked, barely containing an amused grin. Sure, Yai may have been over dramatic sometimes, but he still loved her.

"Let's start at the beginning of the day. First, my car breaks down and I'm late for work. Secondly, I signed the wrong paper work and threw out what I should have signed. Finally, and this is the best one, I get a massive headache because some moron left his car parked in the middle of the street, and it took two hours to get everything cleared out. And thatwas just the beginning of the loud noises caused by cars today, because trafic was so freaking jammedand loud, thatI almost killed somebody. I ran out of asprin so I couldn't relieve my headache. It's stange, I just got a new bottle yesterday, but all of my pills were gone."

"There's some in the bathroom connected to the master bedroom, why don't you go grab some?" Chaud suggested.

"There is? I'll be back in a minute," Yai told Chaud heading upstairs.

While Yai went upstairs, Chaud sent a prayer to god, hoping he didn't screw up, and that Yai actually found the thing. It was amazing that Chaud, the great netbattler who opperated Protoman, was nervous about something.

"Chaud sir, shall I leave for the time being?" Protoman asked from the PET on the end table next to the chair Chaud was sitting in while reading the paper.

"No Protoman, I need someone here in case I faint if Yai doesn't notice it," Chaud responded.

Protoman was somewhat amused at his Netops fear. It wasn't like Chaud to act this way, althought, he could understand why. It wasn't everyday you asked someone to marry you.

"Oka-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Either she found the ring, or else she slipped on the tile in the bathroom." Chaud told himself getting up and hurrying up the stairs.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Yai screamed at Chaud. She then proceded to hug him, knocking the wind out of him.

"Yes to what?" Chaud asked, sounding confused.

"Wha? What do you mean what? I'll marry you. I just said yes." Yai sounded perplexed.

"Marriage? What gave you the idea that I wanted to marry you?" Chaud sounded confused again.

"Okay, I feel like a moron, and I'll be leaving now." Yai said nervously, getting off of Chaud and heading to the bedroom she was staying in. Before she could however, Chaud grabbed her arm and brought her downstairs, out the door, and pointed to the sky. Fireworks could been seen.

The fireworks read,

**Just kidding.**

"I really hate you." Yai told Chaud, who was getting on one knee.

"I'm not really good at this, so I'm just going to ask you without straight out. Will you marry me?" Chaud asked her, bringing out a box with a better ring than the one Yai had found in the asprin bottle.

The ring was a princess cut shimmering with diamonds.

With Yai's firm kiss to the lips, that's all Chaud needed for an answer.

It was then decided by Chaud to never to tell Yai he was the one who had the car put in the street.

**_End Flashback-man that was a long one, huh?_**

"I still really hate you," Yai said. "You left me and our kids alone, even after you promised not too. You promised that you'd be there, unlike you father, and you said you wouldn't die because you didn't want them to mourn for you until they were ready. You didn't want to be like your mother, who left you." Yai told the grave angrily.

"I've learned over the years that I can't bring you back, no matter how much I want too. I like to think your spirit is with us, but it's just wishful thinking.

The tears then came.

* * *

Another fic done. Another idiot brainchild to read reviews for. Personally, I really liked it and it was fun writing it. I still can't picture Chaud engaging, but, what can you do? I'm a little iffy about the end too.Also, I guess Yai is OCish, but she grew up. For those of you wondering where's Glyde, he is still around, Yai just wants to grieve privately. I also wanted to put a Chaud thing in there, but I have an idea for an upcoming chapter that would be ruined if I put him at the end like I did for Lan. 

After looking at my last chapter, I can't help but ask myself, what was I thinking? It's so horrible. I really, really, want to redue it. Maybe it's I sign of my improvement?

I've heard rumors about Stream being dubbed and websites already have summaries with American changes, but the show may not be aired. That being said, I'll probably redue the last chapter while twiddling my thumbs until Stream so I can write Pride/Raika together.

* * *

_Coming eventually from ClampLover Studios. CL still can't cure the EVILwriter's block._

_1. Sayonara Bye Bye- A Pokemon fic based on the LeafGreen/Fire Red games. I'd like to have it out by sometime this year. There's a damn good chance it won't be out in March._

_2. I've started making two Megaman fics. I hope to have one up by March as well. Since, I may not, I'll tell you what the pairings are. One fic has Lan/Maylu, Yai/Chaud, Pride/Raika and Roll/Megaman while the other had a onesided Chaud/Maylu with Maylu/Lan hints._

_3.Another fic I want to make is __a fic for Lan's and Megaman's thoughts for each chapter inDYLM?DILY? I'd like to thank Angelz9 for giving me the idea. The first chapter of it will be dedicated to her. I haven't started this yet, but once things cool down here I will._

_4. I've looked at the previous chapter and whenever I do, I feel embarresed. I'm reduing it._

_5. Future chapters of Do You Love Me? Do I Love You? There's this cute, fluffy idea that just won't go away._

_Well, Bye for now,_

_Clamp Lover_

_Word Count and date completed: 1178, 2/10/2006_


	3. Pride

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own any Megaman series, although I do have the games and books. All characters and the blah blah stuff that goes along with them are Capcom's and the original creator's, not mine.

Author Note: It's been two years. Just, wow. I'm not sure what to feel. Part of me is ashamed for the obvious reasons and for the fact that the last time I really looked at this story at whole was when it first came out, when I still had that writing style. Now I've matured both as a person and as a writer and I'm still in awe I wrote like that. I also feel like I'm coming full circle and that this is the end of my connecting to the past. I'm moving on to new sections and forgetting what made me like certain pairings here in the first place. It's a little weird.

Anyway, looks like we're all back for this final round, huh? Here we are, Pride and Raika, something I've been promising you all for years. And I was all set to deliver, originally anyway. This chapter has nearly been life threatening. I've had years of on again, off again writer's block and just when I get most of it done, I completely forget about it. Then my computer crashes and I'm forced to review my past and try to get into the same mind frame I had when the story was originally published. They never did dub Stream either, so... In the end, I randomly picked up a document, deleted the little that was on there, and wrote this all in the dead of night. And I can't help but feel like I did when I first started writing the first chapter, also in the dead of night.

* * *

"Your Majesty, I don't think it would be proper for you to leave the castle now for _that_. Do you know how much paper work needs to be signed for the new anti-viral laws? We don't have time for this.

"With all due respect councilor , visiting the grave of what would have been this country's future king doesn't seem a waste of my time. Besides, I've already reviewed that paperwork and am not signing that flawed law. Send it back to our Parliament to review section A-12B and the punishment to those who break it. I hard;y think the death penalty is fair for something like that. Next, find one of the gardeners and have them cut me a dozen gardenias. Finally, cancel all my appointments until three, got it?"

"Yes, your majesty. Expect your flowers within the hour. If you'll excuse me, I'll go send message to Parliament."

"Thank you, councilor."

* * *

When I was a little girl, my father, the King of Creamland, instilled a sense of dignity in me. I was to remain cheerful and upbeat, to keep waving to the adoring crowds even after I lost feeling in both arms. Still, the most important thing he, and all my various tutors over the years, stressed was the fact I shouldn't cry in public, to allow my face to have an sliver of sorrow reflecting across it.

It seems those lessons have carried on here, haven't they darling? I'm standing over your grave and nothing is flowing. My blood seems to have run cold, my feelings have become numb, and I'm having problems breathing.

I'm still not crying. Would you be proud of that? I think some part of you would. You always did admire my spirit and my stiff upper lip. Deep down inside me though, I have confidence you'd be more worried than anything else. You'd fear I'm bottling everything up and something could happen to me later on if my behavior continued.

But you're not here to confirm my beliefs, and it's making me angry and resigned, something we both know I never feel at the same time. All I can do is look down here or look pictures in hopes I can envision your response. I'm angry at you, for dying and leaving me here alone and angry at myself as well.

I'm starting to forget what you looked like, the way your hair would fall across your face, the way you would laugh at something (whether it be me or the councilors I was dealing with) when I'd mutter under my breath and swear in the Sharro dialect you taught me so well. It scares me a little too, forgetting you like that when I lay alone in our bed.

I'm only now starting to become resigned to the fact your not coming back. It's been six months since you left me, this time for good, and not just for a few weeks like when you had a mission, or had to go back to Sharro to see your Uncle or aid in military planning. I remember laughing with you at the airport, joking about how you'd have to buy me the entire country to make up to me all the days we'd be apart.

I'm not laughing anymore. I don't have anyone to join me anyway.

I can't help but look down again, at the slab of stone that makes everything seem so final. It's so cool to the touch, so unwelcoming. It's so blue, with swirls of different shads of white and gray.

**Raika Kalinin**

**181X-209X**

**A loyal Sharro son, dedicated to his country**

**A beloved son, friend, net-op, husband, and nephew**

**He shall be missed**

It's your shade of blue and the words don't do you justice.

It makes me miss you all the more, looking at the sky when the sun is finally shining after a storm, seeing the deep blue or walking in the gardens and seeing a gardenia, the type of flower you bought me on our first date.

It's really painful when it snows. The snow was your home, where ever you went, it seemed to follow you. Searchman once mentioned to Knightman how Lan Hikari refused to come to Sharro and you went to him, bringing ACDC's worst snow storm in twenty years. Of course, we all know you had nothing to do with it, but Lan swore up and down you were to blame. You became the blizzard prince.

I remember Lan, always _full _of tact, remark, "So, now you can match Pride's Princess, huh?" I also remember how you seemed to thank Maylu Sakurai without words after she smacked him upside the head and scolded him until he begged for mercy.

It seems none of us have gotten our happy endings.

Here we are, you dead and me left with a grieving nation and net-navi. Do you know what your loss has done to Searchman? He's still reeling from the shock. You, dying from something so simple as a car crash. Not on the battle field, not protecting someone, not fighting, not even dying for a cause. Just a car crash. It doesn't make it any easier you know, you dying from something we couldn't have prevented.

Searchman just can't believe you left him here, alone, without a net-op, without a goal. I can't believe it either. How could you leave him, me, like that?

It would be so much easier if I could hate you for leaving me, but I can't. My cross to bare I suppose.

We've been, had been, married five years. Not nearly enough time. Not enough time to see if our marriage would pass the gauntlet of time, not enough time to experience all the sights, not even enough time to get around to all the things we said we'd do.

Five years was most certainly not enough time to experience having a child, although we came close once.

That almost brings tears to my eyes, the thought of our stillborn baby girl. What could have been my last blood and flesh reminder of you is not buried more than half a dozen feet away.

So, now here I stand, looking over the graves off all I hold, or have held, dear. You my darling Raika, my mother, dead before I got to meet her, and our little Casee as well.

I've been musing for too long. I must do what I've come to. The weather has been good to me, sunny and picture perfect. I slowly clean away all the wilting flowers surrounding your grave marker. I slowly place new flowers on your grave. More important than the flowers, more important then their quality and quantity, is the ribbon tying them all together. Or, more importantly, the two chips attached to said ribbon.

A present from Lan and the other delivered to you by Searchman's orders.

A Syncro chip and the Megaman's old double soulchip with Searchman. I don't think I can put into words Searchman's grief. Even compared to my own. I'm surviving for you, for my people, and for myself. Now, Searchman on the other hand, has nothing. Knightman and I try our best, and Lan Hikari certainly helps, but I'm not sure its enough. He wonders the net, lost and without a purpose. I'm not sure how long it will be until he recovers, if he recovers. I think the only reason he's still here is that he knows how ashamed you'd be if he got himself deleted. If anything else, he'll recover enough to go back home, back to the Sharro military that trained you both so well.

For his sake, and for your own, I'd be okay with that, okay with one of my biggest reminders of you leaving me. I've already started preparing for that. With those chips here, finally with you, a little part of Searchman has rested. I think he feels he is getting his final message across to you, that even if your gone, so far out of reach that he can't find you, he'll always be your partner and always care about you. I hope now he can finally start looking for his inner peace.

I'm going to rise now, and leave this place before I start screaming and letting my grief hit me full force. I haven't even said a word out loud since I've come here, a rarity for me. I like to think that you've gone on to a better place, but that you can still here and feel me. I hope you notice I'm carrying on like a trouper and not crying here.

I get up and begin to head up the hill, away from you and back to the car that will bring me back to all that I still need to do. I turn around though, just because I want to remind you.

"I miss you," I can't help but whisper brokenly.

But missing someone has never brought them back, and it never will.

And its over. I'm pretty happy with this chapter, this end of the story. I realized that all these stories could possibly be linked to each other, and that was my original idea, but now I honestly think they're better off apart. If they are, I know a lot of people who will think the side characters got their happy endings or at least haven't died yet. I have loved Raika and Searchman ever since I "met" them, so I feel a little guilty for all the crap I put them through. Oh well. Now, this is the end. I feel a huge need to shout out to all the reviewers who've taken their time to read and respond to this story. Many of you have become friends I still keep in contact with today, so thank you.

I spend most of my writing of this chapter listening to Over You by Daughtry or Stop and Stare by OneRepublic. I hope you forgive me for making you wait for solong, but its kinda hard writing in the point of view in a character I watched one episode about, and pair her with a guy I've never seen her interact with. The whole bit about her not crying ended up being slightly similar to the last chapter.I was kinda mad at that, I honestly forgot writing that for Yai because since making this story I've been planning it for this pairing specifically. And seeing it there was just meh! Once again, thank you all for coming this far with me and not killing me for killing off most of the male characters we hold so near and dear. Please review and let me know what you think. Bye.

Started: May 25, 2008 Ended:May 28, 2008(which is really ironic considering all the other Widower chapter(yai) kept me busy for over 2 months each in just the basic writing process and is also much longer than that wordcount)


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